Three and half weeks back in Sydney I find myself at home on a Friday night doing uni work and watching travel documentaries with my mum. How things have changed since Spain! By now I have caught up with most of my friends, am well into the first semester of my final year of university studies, have started working (though am still anxiously awaiting my first pay in over a year!!) and have jumped back into dancing, swimming and yoga in a vain attempt to lose the Europe fat that has been sitting on my round figure so comfortably over the last few months.

Probably the most common question asked by those who I’ve encountered since my arrival would be “So how does it feel to be back home?” I tend to respond (depending on who’s asking!) with any (or all) of the following responses:

• “Good to see friends again!¨
• “Weird. Nothing has changed”
•  “Man, forgot how shit is EXPENSIVE here”  
•  “I miss Spain.”

I can honestly say that not a day has passed that I haven’t thought about my amazing life in Europe, which now only seems like such a faraway dream. I have been self-diagnosed with ‘Post-Erasmus Depression’ - constantly comparing what I have to what I had, dealing with ‘reverse culture shock’ and feeling a general sense of displacement.

I originally thought that my ICS year in Spain would serve as a time to get the travel bug out of my system. That I’d return home more focused and determined to finish my degree, start my career and start concentrating on grown up things like relationships (lol), financial stability and my future. But alas, I’ve come back confused not really sure where the hell I want to go in life anymore.

What a poster child for first world problems!

Which opportunity do I want to take? Do I want to start a career/full-time/grown up job? Do I want to be a corporate slave? Or do I want to work in the not-for-profit sector in an overworked/underpaid yet probably fulfilling job? How important is money to me? How I just want to say ‘fuck that!’ and pursue my travelling dreams? Is there a way for me to realistically and feasibly pursue a life of travel, happiness, learning, knowledge and sharing experiences?

To finish off, I love this quote “Your life is your message to the world. Make sure it’s inspiring.”

So now, where do I go from here?

When i hear some electro im gonna do this:

When i hear Major Lazer is coming on stage next:

When Major Lazer starts and i hear all my jams i will be doing this:

(Source: saralovesdiplo, via majorlazer)

So with less than 2 weeks left of my Spanish adventure (yikes!), I’ve decided to focus on the things I am looking forward to coming home to instead of dwelling on the wonderful things I am going to miss from this fabulous country. So here goes:

• Coming back in SUMMER. Shorts, singlets and thongs. Best ever.
• Australian Beaches. And my swimming pool.
• Even when winter comes, it won’t actually be cold… I’ll just be wearing my summer clothes with a jumper over it. And perhaps a scarf.
• BONDS Undies
• Dancing in clubs where there are actually other people dancing at the same level of ridiculous as myself. And coming back to a place where dancing like a complete lunatic is a normal, socially accepted custom!
• Coming back to my loving family. I may only have a small one, but the love is bigger than anything!
• Seeing all my gorgeous, gorgeous friends again!!! Coming back to a ‘sense of belonging’ if you will. Not saying that I don’t feel like I ‘belong’ here in Salamanca nor that I haven’t made any real friends (haha I promise, I have!) but there’s something different perhaps a little more profound about the nature of my relationships back home. There’s not need for us to ‘get to know each other’. They already know my flaws, idiosyncrasies and basically just me as a person. This year I feel like I did leave a piece of my soul back with my friends, and I think the feelings have been reciprocated. I think there will be some sense of equilibrium again once I’m chillin’ with my homies (you all know who you are!).
• Getting back to an active lifestyle (goodbye siesta) and contributing to society.
• Returning back to exercising. Losing the new layer of fat that I have accumulated in the last year - swimming, dancing and yoga here I come. And maybe other forms of exercise…
• Did I mention… DANCING?!?!
• Working again! Probably need to work 2/3 jobs to save up for all the travelling that I want to do. Hahaha oh dear.
• DRIVING!!!… on the right side of the road! Haha.
• Going to university again and actually caring about my studies. Getting good grades and basically killing it in the last year of my Bachelor’s degree. Bring it.
• ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDING WHAT’S GOING ON IN CLASS!!… and in life in general. Haha, nah it’s been pretty sweet but I don’t think I’ve attained that level of Spanish to show my personality or be witty (how does Spanish wit work, anyway?).
• Maintaining my Spanish! Oh shit. It’d be such a shame to come this far and lose it. Going to try and find a Spanish course to polish my grammar, continue studying it at uni, find the Spanish International Students at UTS and POUNCE. Haaaahahahaha, seriously need to keep up with the speaking.
• Expanding my social circles a little bit more, actually not be afraid to approach me people and make friends.
• Volunteering. I miss GK Youth!! Getting back into the swing of things again, giving back to the global community.
• Combining my love for travelling and volunteering. Thailand, Cambodia and Philippines… (albeit tentative plans) here I come! 
• Quitting (binge) drinking. Firstly, I can’t afford it and it’s the easiest way to save money. Secondly, MY LIVER NEEDS A FUCKING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!
• FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD HOLY MOTHER OF GOD FOOD!!!
  KFC, KFC chips with potato and gravy, OMG GRAVY, chicken salt, asian food, migoreng, australian bbq, filipino bbq, filipino food, satang thai, viet rolls, pho, coffee, charcoal chicken, an abundance of curry, nahn bread, sweet potatoes, KEBABS, lemon lime bitters!!!… (not sure how I am meant to lose Europe weight with such an abundance of amazing food within my reach)